learning to compromise

Thursday, August 4, 2011

You know the saying "Never go to bed angry"? While in most cases it is a good rule to follow, but sometimes I feel that taking a night to yourself to think things over, go to sleep & wake up with a refreshed outlook on the situation is a better way to tackle the issue.

The other night I went to bed feeling really sad. Luke & I had a disagreement about something (not an argument, but a disagreement). There was a particular issue that we weren't seeing eye to eye on. It was hard for me, because we are almost always (like 99.9%) in agreeance (okay, spell check just told me that is NOT a word... is that a word, or did I just make that up?!) on our future - but with the timing of two specific things that we both wanted to do - our timelines didn't quite match up & neither of us wanted to give in.

The two big things in our future that we want to do are both extremely important to us, but we had different opinions on the timing & execution. I want both to happen RIGHT NOW (or both to happen relatively soon). While Luke wants to focus on one & then the other later on. (In retrospect, he was thinking more realistic than I was). After a night to ourselves I had time to think about my irrationalities on my own & was able to come to the table with a compromise.

My point being, we're not always going to agree on everything, but if it's important to both of us, we really should compromise, or come up with a solution so both of us are happy. I think taking a night off to think about things can be better than trying to compromise in the heat of a discussion.


Have you ever had to make a compromise on something that you didn't want to?
What works best with you & your significant other when it comes to disagreements?

Let me know your thoughts!

5 comments:

  1. Ah, yes, I've had to compromise many times! I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, so we've experienced arguments of this nature (is ANY couple immune to it?) I think the best thing that helps is just to talk, talk, talk...get everything out. Then, you both know where the other is coming from, and you can start to work towards a resolution. xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. don't worry chickadee it defiantly happens to everyone.. but it is the pits to go to bed upset. i always want to talk things out and h would rather sleep on it... so yes we have gone to bed annoyed with each other but by the middle of the night one of us will give in :) its good to talk those major things out tho and figure out a realistic plan for the future (or else you'll keep on worrying about it). i have no doubt you two will figure something out! xoxo jillian:: cornflake dreams

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fantastic post! I could not agree more..the rule of thumb for me and my hubs is to not go to bed angry either..but sometimes we are both too stubborn to actually work it out. But usually by the morning we both realize we love each other too much and have most likely forgotten about it already.

    ReplyDelete
  4. To be honest I have sometimes found that it is better to go to bed angry. Otherwise you end up awake half the night fighting. However I'd prefer to fix things before bed if I can.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awww I hope things are looking a bit brighter now!

    Me and my husband rarely disagree either (anymore, we used to in the early days but we have compromised and come to agreements about a LOT of things). When we do disagree about something we tend to have a very heated argument as I have a hot temper and flare up easily, and he gets sucked into it too. But we also cool down really quickly and so we just need a little time apart and then we're suddenly apologising to one another and trying to come to an agreement. Sometimes it does mean we go to bed angry but like you and others, I think that's okay sometimes and you need to sleep on it.

    ReplyDelete